On this Valentines Day , it ’s time for me to give some love and tenderness to the overlooked but indispensable part of my world , dread d - level movies . More importantly , Congo Happy Valentine ’s Day , sweetie .
Perhaps my Valentine ’s Day tribute to the grey gorilla of Michael Crichton ’s creation is in part due to the two - 60 minutes argument I had with editor Graeme about Congo ’s awesome ability to capture our minds and nerve when novelist Crichton passed away last year . Maybe I ’m caustic that I could n’t win over him of its donation to the film run public – or maybe he just does n’t translate our lovemaking . Either way , I still love this movie . You give me so much , Congo : a terrible tonic Herkermer Homolka , deal - talking Amy the gorilla , and fresh perfumed orb extraction . I love you , Congo , and I ’m not afraid to say it .
I ’ve been called out more than a few meter by commenters for dubbing motion picture “ bad , but sound , ” because I did n’t require to be dubbed stupid or pathetic for loving enjoin unspeakable moving picture . To those people I say , regretful , but there is n’t anything clandestine about it . Perhaps I have not made myself clear . My love for risky movies eff no bounds . I adore Congo for the distressfulness with which this nonsensical movie got made . I enjoy that , at one point , filmmakers pitched a movie that contained giant baseball field protecting gorillas , a laser gun with the power to inject down satellites , babble out robot custody and then went out and convinced Laura Linney , Ernie Hudson , Tim Curry and Bruce Campbell that this was a good idea . That alone take some sand . I suppose Linney looking at Hudson and say , “ OK so is this the part where we set up the laser margin of automatise gas pedal to protect us from the super smart white gorillas ? ” without recoil and it makes me all fond and blurry in spite of appearance .
Congo is just one delightfully absurd thing heaped on top of the other patter with dancing jungle citizenry and delivered in all seriousness by gifted actors . What ’s not to bang about a so - apparently - fake mouth gorilla with the voice of a two - year - old and not one character was really ever that fazed by it . If that was me , I ’d be walk around screaming , “ shit , there ’s a verbalise gorilla in our chemical group . ” I love Congo because it unabashedly tackled the insane study subject essay so hard to be realistic and , in return , delivered hilarious amusement that is always rewarding no matter how many times you see it .
Congo is my b - movie watermark . They ca n’t just be bad ( ahem , Death Race ) they have to truly surpass in shittiness so far that you find yourself screaming , “ contain eat MY SESAME CAKE , ” to your friends in near hysterics at the end of a long dark . Sure the AVP buddy cop / alien movie was cracking , but was it Congo great ? I mean , it ’s not like they had to escape aliens and a volcano at the same time ? Can it live up to watch Tim Curry running around screaming “ Ze Diamooonds ! ”
Congo is sugary thinker confect that give you a petty pick - me - up . Movies like this get me through sad times , happy time or even just former nights of insomnia . I always palpate in force after getting a glance of Dylan Walsh ’s whisker . flick like this are there for you , have level upon stratum of insanity and asking nothing else in return … Just that you turn on TBS or TNT and check in from fourth dimension to time .
While there are many , many things I bonk about this music genre , I have to give special attention to terrible movies today because I ’d be lying if I did n’t admit it ’s halfway through my weekend and already I ’ve popped in Titan A.E. and Deep Impact . Do n’t care , I ’ve got a romantic night of candles , rosebush , hot chocolate and optical maser all design for a private screening of Congo because you merit it baby . Thanks for always being there .
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