Prior toBeth Chapman’s death, she took part in filming for the family’s upcoming showDog’s Most Wanted, but her husbandDuane “Dog” Chapmanisn’t sure how much of that footage will end up making it on the air.
The 66-year-old reality star still finds it very emotional to watch scenes that feature his wife, who died at the age of 51 on June 26, he explained in a new interview withEntertainment Tonight.
“I’ve already looked at some of them, OK, and I see her and I hear her and I freaking start bawling ’cause it happened,” he shared. “I just instantly start crying.”
Dog went on to share that although watching videos of his wife may be difficult, they’re also a powerful way to remember her.
“I think it’s also therapeutic that you have those. You know, if you lose a loved one, then you have the little pictures you look at. But I have her alive in that show,” he added.
Beth Chapman/Instagram
Dog has also been open about how the variety of ways hisgrief has manifestedsince Beth’s death two weeks ago.
“I haven’t gotten past the place where I’m still putting a pillow where she was and covering it up like the jailhouse escape,” he previously toldEntertainment Tonight. “And then I wake up in the middle of the night and see her and it doesn’t register that [it] ain’t her. I’m still there.”
“I can’t eat. Two bites, I’m full,” he explained. “So I gotta force-feed myself like I force-fed her.”
Dog went on to share that while he “would never commit suicide,” he is at peace if his time on Earth were to end soon.
“I am ready now to go,” he said, but added that his wife, who battled astage II throat cancer diagnosis, “was never ready.”
On Saturday, Beth’s family, friends and fans will have the chance to say their final farewells at her funeral, which will bestreamed liveonWGNAmerica.comand theDog’s Most WantedFacebook page.
Dog previously announced Beth’sfuneral arrangementson Twitter and Facebook, sharing that it will be held at the Heritage Christian Center in Aurora, Colorado.
source: people.com
