Nick Martens ’s horror flick screenplay was going so well until Apple paid for product locating .
I.
“ We ’ll never make it out of here . I ca n’t see a thing . ”
“ Do n’t give up yet ! There ’s still go for ! ”
“ It ’s too saturnine . It ’s pass away to hunt us down if we do n’t diminish and founder our necks first . ”
“ But … just seek anything ! Use your earphone screen door ! ”
“ Are you dotty ? That ’s not nearly enough . ”
“ look , does n’t that matter have a wink now ? ”
“ But only for like a second when you take a picture . ”
“ No , you could totally get an app that keep it on . ”
“ Seriously ? ”
“ Yeah , I recall it ’s called iFlashlight . ”
“ Lemme download that … okay , there we go . ”
“ Whoa , that ’s fucking bright ! ”
“ Check it out : strobe light ! ”
“ Aw yeah , rave time ! Unce - unce - unce - unce ! ”
II.
“ Why hello there , my pretty small young lady . I ’ve been wait so long to lastly enclose myself to you . You see , though you do n’t know me , I know you quite well . Every twenty-four hour period I watch you eating , work , sleeping … undressing . And now it ’s just you and me , all alone , and I ’ve catch all the time in the world to have my sport with you . ”
“ You realize I ’m take this do n’t you ? You see this affair I ’m holding ? ”
“ My dear , by the sentence I ’m finished here , all that will be cast away of . ”
“ No , I mean I ’m pour it live on the web right now . 78 hoi polloi are watching on my Qik channel . ”
“ What ? I thought that only knead on wireless local area web . ”
“ No , you’re able to do it on 3 G too . ”
“ Oh , neat . ”
III.
“ We ’re snare ! ”
“ Quick , call for assist ! It ’ll be back by sundown ! ”
“ No signal ! Shit ! It ’s gon na get us ! ”
“ Dude , you ’re holding it in your left paw . ”
“ What ? ! ”
“ You ’re covering the lilliputian antenna thing on the bottom there . ”
“ Fuck , that ’s right-hand . I mean , I sleep with it ’s a cool design , but you ’d mean they ’d test the hell out of it . ”
“ No kidding . Hey , how ’s the sign appear ? ”
“ Five bars . Calling AAA now . ”
IV.
“ H - hello ? ”
“ Your end draws near . ”
“ Wh … who … ”
“ The prison term has number to make up for your sinful ways . ”
“ Who is this ? block up calling me ! ”
“ I am closer than you realize , and so too is your destruction . ”
“ Oh hey , you ’ve got FaceTime enabled ? I ’ve been meaning to try that out . ”
“ Yeah , it ’s pretty heavy . Here , you start it . ”
“ I ’ll just hit the button ? ”
“ Yeah , there you go . Okay , l’m accept . Can you see m … delay , shit . ”
“ Todd ! What the fuck man ! ”
Nick Martens is an editor program atThe Bygone Bureau . Illustration byHallie Bateman .
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